Dear Mt. Eyjafjallajökull

I know you don’t know me personally, and I know you probably don’t come to strangely-normal.com very often, but I want to talk to you.

Last week, when I first learned of your existence, I thought that it was cute. Your erupting and sending the UK and Europe into a travel panic was almost endearing I thought. You were making your mark on the work, and I get it. It’s hard to stand out in a world this crazy, so sometimes you have to shout from the mountaintops. Who doesn’t like a David and Goliath type of tale: little Iceland shutting down the airspace for most of northern Europe? It’s so cool. There’s little balls of volcanic glass in the air. How cool is that? I didn’t know you could aerosolize glass. I’m glad I learned that.

Except here’s the problem. I’m going to Ireland. On Friday. On my belated honeymoon. Cheap. It’s going to be great. I’m really excited. And I would prefer that we actually get to go.

So here’s the deal. If you could just stop with the erupting for a bit, that would be great. Get the air space above Heathrow Airport open for Friday and Saturday, and allow Alan and I to land. I’m not really concerned about the Cork airport; we can get to Ireland from London by car or bus or train or rented mule for all I care. Then, if you could erupt again, and get us stranded in Ireland for a few weeks too long, that would also be great.

If you’re able to do this for me, I’m sure we can become friends. I will even learn how to pronounce your name correctly. If not, I may have to put you on my enemies list.

Sincerely,
Shannon Patterson

P.S. I really like your name.