Dear Kyle XY Writers

I am unimpressed with you. I’d tell you that you suck, but I’m pretty sure it’s not your fault. I’m more unimpressed with ABC Family because they’re the ones who canceled the show, but I digress.

Here’s a hint to television writing: all episodes should feature at least a little closure on a story line, even if it is just a tiny piece of a larger puzzle. It makes the viewer feel like the plot is going somewhere. Season finales should wrap up the overarching plot line(s) of the season. It should do so more than two minutes before the end of the episode, and it should have some sort of denouement. If you have the chance, you can introduce a new mystery, or let the main character react to the closures they’ve witnessed. This show needed at least three more episodes in order to handle all the stuff that was done in this episode to make it work. Everything seemed half-assed.

Closure is important. I don’t even think as a season finale this episode did enough to create closure. You want closure? Here’s closure:

• After Cassidy told Kyle he was his brother, have Kyle say something sappy about how Josh Trager is his real brother, and then snap the crap out of his neck.
• Have Jessi bomb the shit out of Latnok, and then have a big group hug.
• Make Kyle pick between Jessi and Amanda, not that anyone really cares about that subplot.
• Declan and Lori don’t get back together because life’s not like that. They stay with their current boy/girlfriends and remain friends.
• Fade to grey.

Or, more realistically, but less spin-off friendly:

• Kill off Kyle and/or Jessi in the process of destroying Latnok. Have the rest of the points above stay the same.